Tuesday 5 August 2014

Who am I?

Very often I wear a mask, not a real one but a façade that hides the real me. I created this piece of digital art to reflect this.

 
The Complete Poem.
 
THE MASK I WEAR
 
Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-
   masks that I'm afraid to take off
     and none of them are me.     
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me
          but don't be fooled,
   for God's sake, don't be  fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure
That all is sunny and unruffled with me
   within as well as without,
    that confidence is my name
     and coolness my game,
    that the water's calm
   and I'm in command,
  and that I need no one.
But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask,
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
   But I hide this.
    I don't want anybody to know it.
     I panic at the thought of my weaknesses
      and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks
          to hide behind. 
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades
          to help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance that
            knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
   my only salvation,
       and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
   and if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself
   from my own self-built prison walls

I dislike hiding, honestly
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing,
   the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me
   of what I can't assure myself,
     that I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
   I don't dare.
      I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh
   and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing,
        that I'm just no good
             and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game
With a façade of assurance without,
And a trembling child within.
So begins the parade of masks,

The glittering but empty parade of masks,
   and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing
   and nothing of what's everything,
                 of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
   do not be fooled by what I'm saying
Please listen carefully and try to hear
   what I'm not saying
Hear what I'd like to say
   but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you,
   long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
      The nearer you approach me
   the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
   you wonder who I am
    you shouldn't
     for I am everyman
     and everywoman
      who wears a mask.
Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear.

Sunday 8 June 2014

Ooops! Long time no post.

I didn't realise I hadn't posted here for over a month. I have been busy, what with learning how to use my new camera and doing the Start to Finish course with Kim Klassen. I've bought myself a new prime lens. A 50mm f1.8 lens and it's brilliant for shallow depth of field Still Life's. Still need lots of practice yet but I WILL get there. Lots to learn. F stops, ISOs, depth of field, auto focus versus manual focus modes. Just so much. I can now alter f stops and ISO without consulting the manual. :-)

Anyway, I managed to take this shot using the new lens. I used f1.8 on these wisterias and love the blurred, almost painterly feel to the background. On the whole I'm very pleased with it. Off to play some more.

Be love, be light.
 

Tuesday 22 April 2014

Texture Tuesday

This is my piece I did for Texture Tuesday. Hope is what keeps me going. I often feel like giving up but I still hope things will get better.


In All Things it is Better to Hope.

http://www.kimklassencafe.com/thecafe/texture-tuesday-simple-edition.html
 

Excited!

I have just signed up to do a short course with Kim Klassen. I love her style of work and I'm hoping that as well as being able to take fab shots I will also learn how to use Lightroom. Not my fave program at the moment but then that's because I don't really know how to use it.

http://www.kimklassencafe.com/starttofinish_reg/

The course is called Start to Finish and it looks truly inspiring. Kim also does a range of other courses that also look fab. Maybe one day! Sigh!

I think I'm just going to have a go at Kim's Texture Tuesdays challenge. Back soon. x

Sunday 6 April 2014

Request

I was asked by my friend, Cliff to create a card from one of his images that could be used for Easter. This is what I came up with.

Easter card. Original photo by Cliff Soden
I'm not too good at doing religious stuff but I hope this is suitable.

Saturday 5 April 2014

Breathe!

I am now the proud new owner of a new Digital Art set up. A new, faster pc, a much bigger monitor, a new printer and a new scanner.

I have been doing lots of learning and even some teaching.

I'm loving the vintage look with scanned, vintage papers. Denise Love of 2 Lil' Owls has some fabulous textures and vintage papers. Go and check out her site. You won't be disappointed.

I am also trying to learn Lightroom although this is slow going. I can see the benefits of it though. I am now taking all my photos in RAW mode, except for those taken with my Pentax as that doesn't have that function.

I have also partnered up with a photographer friend, Cliff Soden, and have been using some of his photos in my art.

Here is a piece I did using one of his winter shots. A cold, frosty morning at sunrise. Perfect!


Breathe!

Other elements by Anna Aspnes.

Check back soon for more images and ramblings.
Toodle pip.

Monday 6 January 2014

Happy New Year

Due to some very unhappy and unpleasant circumstances I haven't posted much but this will now be rectified.

I haven't been lazy on the digital art front but haven't done as much as I'd have liked. Life just sometimes takes over.

Anyway, as an experiment I have had a piece of mine printed as a limited edition print to see what it looks like. It looks great and I can't wait to get it framed. It has been printed by UKV Fine Art Printers and is superb.

 
This piece is 24" x 12"


I'll try and post a bit more soon. Toodle pip for now!